What Are You Tolerating?

Today is Valentine’s Day, and immediately I thought of people I love.   How can I let them know they are important and special in my life?

Then I thought, “what about me?”  How do I show myself that I love “me” and I’m special in my life?

What flashed in my mind immediately is that I’m tolerating too much in my life.   How do I know that I’m tolerating “stuff?” I can tell by listening to my internal thoughts of frustrations or the complaints that I express to others.

I started to think about what I was tolerating in my life.  For starters, I wandered around my home and listened to all the shooting thoughts about what isn’t right.   No home is perfect, and yet I’m tolerating many things by not acting on them.

For example, I have a small office, and the space is plenty for my needs.   If I look to the right, piles of paper and behind me, books, papers and other stuff that needs to be put away.  My home is relatively organized, but I tolerate too many books and papers.   If I open the closet in the extra bedroom, I cringe at all of the junk piled there.  It’s distracting because I get annoyed with myself, feel a bit overwhelmed by the visual display of clutter, and yet, I live with it.  Why do I tolerate something that doesn’t make me feel good?

The Problem
Tolerating clutter, behaviors, other people, demanding bosses all take away a part of our lives.  Yes, the thought may be with us for a brief moment, but it tears off a small chunk of well-being by tolerating the situation.   Multiply that by other annoyances, frustrations and by the end of the day, no wonder we are exhausted and feeling a little beat up by living.   The same things that we were annoyed about yesterday are still there today…we get to compound the tears in our lives.

Today is different.  Maybe because it’s Valentine’s Day and it reminds me to love myself fully.   To stand behind that thought, I have to acknowledge that I’m tired of tolerating what isn’t working in my life.  How do I channel my tiredness of tolerating too much to creating solutions to move forward?  Here are some thoughts I’ve created which may be helpful for anyone.

Most Important – Create Awareness

• Home – Go around the house and listen to what bothers you.  Then capture all those annoyances on a master list.  Don’t judge or try to resolve anything.  Instead, permit yourself to become aware of the tolerances that are robbing your life.
• Finances – What are you tolerating here?  For me, I feel I must go out to dinner all the time to maintain my friendships.  First, I don’t need the extra food, and second, I need to save money.  What about our children, must we give them more than we want to do?  Are we tolerating debt?
• Relationships – are we allowing others to place demands on our time?   Do you cringe when a significant other disrespectfully treats you?    Do we hold on to relationships because we are afraid to let go?
• Deprivation – what do we deprive ourselves of and then overeat or watch too much TV to compensate?

Action – Small Steps

No magic wand can create massive change; instead, the power resides in our conviction that we can make changes in our lives.

Starting small is perfect for building momentum in our lives.   If there is a junk drawer that you have wanted to clean up, do the draw.  If it’s overwhelming even to do that, then set a timer for 20 minutes and clean as much as you can in 20 minutes.    Set yourself up for success.   Success creates more success.

What am I doing on Valentine’s Day to nurture and create well-being in my day?    I am going to build my master list of tolerances and then select one small thing to change today and nurture my well-being.

Your Thoughts

• How are you celebrating Valentine’s Day?    How do you show your love to yourself?
• What are you tolerating in your life?
• Are you interested in changing?
• What small action can you take today to stop tolerating what doesn’t work for you?

Love to hear your thoughts on this topic…share your thoughts about tolerating what doesn’t work for you.

Women’s Group Topics

Women are known to tolerate, especially behaviors of others.    Brainstorm with each other all of the areas that you feel you are tolerating in your life.   No judgments here; instead, it’s a perfect way to unload your thoughts and start clearing up the clutter in your mind.    You can decide to take one thing on your list and figure out a solution to no longer tolerate it.

Be well

Pat
“To fully enjoy the ‘richness’ of our lives, we need to stop long enough to visit with ourselves.”
(Pat Brill)

Other Posts You Might Be Interested In
If It’s Not Working, Change It
So You Have a Hard Time Saying “No?”
De-Cluttering My Life

Stand Up for Your Life: A Practical Step-by-Step Plan to Build Inner Confidence and Personal Power by Cheryl Richardson