When I use the word “change,” I get excited as well as feel the resistance seeping through my thoughts.   Even small changes can create conflict yet change occurs whether we choose it, or it picks us.   Life is in constant change.    I look at my body, and I can tell you that change occurs even when I’m not looking.

Do you feel powerless to make a difference?  How can you go from feeling helpless to acknowledging you have the power to choose change?  How can you create change that works for you?

Ask yourself around a specific situation, “Is this working for me?” 

If your answer is “no,” then you can decide whether you want to change.

I think we all know when something is not working and when we continuously tolerate either our own or other’s behaviors.  Do you tolerate someone who talks too much or maybe a stack of magazines and mail that you keep piling up on the counter?

When I was taking my coaching certification, Thomas Leonard was the founding member of the International Coach Federation.    He had a test questioning “what are you tolerating in your life?”   This test covered every aspect of one’s life from our physical body, thoughts, our environment, and relationships.    When we tolerate our behaviors or the behaviors of others, it drains our energy and blocks us from moving forward in our lives.    Even small tolerations add up as all the small “stuff” which we think is no big deal, impacts our energy and delight in our lives.

Change is about behaviors and what are you putting up with that you can change…

it’s always a choice.

We can change our thoughts, feelings, clutter, people who don’t support us and to do this we need to take responsibility for choosing to change.

Since change is continuous, how do we manage change?  Even when we choose not to act, changes are occurring and isn’t it better to be aware and decide what works best for us?  Look at your life and the different areas within it:

What are you tolerating?

  • Look around your house and what bugs you every time you look at it?
  • What stuff do you own that you don’t use or don’t love and why are you still holding on to them?
  • What people in your life annoy you or are abusive that you tolerate?
  • Are there things in your current work life that you want to change?
  • What behaviors do you have that block you from living a fuller life?

When you ask yourself “what’s not working for me,” you start the first step towards change, by becoming aware of what is not working.  Thomas Leonard believed that tolerations are choices we make on how much we deserve in our lives.

Your changes can be small, like cleaning out a junk drawer.    The focus here is to keep asking yourself around things in your life or people… “Is this working for me?”

Your Thoughts

What do you think about tolerating your behaviors and behaviors of others in your life?  Do you feel that you have a choice to change?    What changes have you made in your life and how did you think of it when it was done?

Change is a compelling conversation, and when we share our thoughts, we open up the possibility that we are helping ourselves and others.

Women’s Group Topics

Change is a powerful topic for any group.   How can you create change? What changes are essential to your well-being, small changes that lead to a significant difference?   We all live with stuff that we tolerate, and you can have a topic around areas each of you endures and what can you do about it

Be well,


“To fully enjoy the ‘richness’ of our lives, we need to stop long enough to visit with ourselves.”
(Pat Brill)


Other Posts You May Be Interested In
Are You Tired of Struggling?
Do You Feel Powerless?
Are You Floundering With Your Time?


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