Most of us carry regrets in our hearts.
So many things we could have or should have, yet we didn’t do during the year. It can be a lifetime of regrets storehouse in our hearts for some of us.
Yet keep in mind that there is another word – should have, could have, and would have. The ‘would have’ is important because you didn’t do it and would have if you could have done it. For whatever reason, you couldn’t do it.
While contemplating your regrets, ask yourself, “is it serving me to carry regrets around in my mind and especially in my heart? “ Regrets reside in your heart, creating sadness, pain, and no place for them to go, as there is absolutely nothing you can do to change the past.
You can learn from regrets and do something different in the future,
and then it’s no longer a regret — it’s learning.
I’ve been thinking about all the unnecessary thoughts I carry around about what I didn’t do during the year, like losing weight, writing more, or exploring where I live more. I did some of it, though not as much as I wanted to, and regretting what I didn’t do, only hinders my well-being.
What Can We Do?
- Create a list of regrets that pop up in your mind and journal about them. I’ve lived long enough to have a hefty list of potential regrets I could showcase, and hopefully not proudly.
- From that list, create two columns:
- What regrets can I change in the future?
- What regrets I can’t change.
- The column where you can change going forward is your future, and you can decide what you want to do differently. Look at the situation and see how you can do it differently.
- The column of regrets you can’t change – is the past, and no amount of guilt will change it. I wanted to be a dancer, yet I made decisions that took away my focus. There is no way I can be a dancer at this beautiful mature age, and letting go with love is my best choice.
How Can You Let Go of Regrets
Let’s look at the regrets you can’t change and see if you can release them with a healthy dose of compassion.
Compassion is a gift we give ourselves.
Go back and remember that you would have done something differently if you could. It’s time to forgive yourself for any past decisions you made, as you did the best you could at the moment. The foundation of our regrets is fear – we were probably fearful when we decided.
How much energy do your regrets take away from your well-being? They take up space in your heart, which leaves less room for you to move forward, do something different, and create a life that supports your well-being.
Women’s Group Topics
Women know about regrets. If you have been in a group of women, past lost opportunities or perceived wrongful decisions are freely shared. Help each other review regrets and decide what changes each of you can create in the future and what regrets need forgiveness and letting go.
“To fully enjoy the ‘richness’ of our lives, we need to stop long enough to visit with ourselves.”
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