The holidays bring so much drama and hype into my life that when it’s over, there is a real let down to my energy. In some ways, it’s okay, because I’m finally relaxing after doing too much, sharing my life with lots more people, and of course, indulging in too much eating and drinking. There is also a slight malaise because I miss the highs that come from celebrating.
Holidays have many expectations built into them. We are supposed to be happy and especially with the family feel an abundance of love all around us. It doesn’t work out that way most of the time. Instead, we get small hits of love with a hefty dose of work and craziness. We keep doing it no matter what.
Today is the formal closure of the holidays. Schools reopen tomorrow, people go back to work after a long holiday weekend, and we pack up all the decorations for the next holiday season. I sit on the threshold of the clutter and excitement of the holidays and the saneness and quietness of the “after holiday” feeling.
A long time ago, someone shared a bit of wisdom with me that helped me accept my contrary feelings. The suggestion is helpful for me during the holidays and in life in general. She said we could have two emotions at the same time and it was ok. I probably still tend towards a black and white perspective, but I’ve included that pearl of wisdom into my life. It’s helped me accept when I have two different feelings simultaneously…happy and sad.
I love the traditions of celebrating holidays with family and friends. I don’t like all of the work that it takes to create the holiday drama. I love seeing the smile on family or friend’s face when I find the right gift. I was a bit absurd this year in my gifts. There was the solid “yes this is just what I want” gifts, but I had a bunch of playful “never in the world would I ask for this type” of a gift.
As I get older, my stamina isn’t as strong, but my daughter has the strength now, and she was terrific this holiday helping with cooking and shopping. I loved spending time with her, but it’s short live because she lives in North Carolina and I’m in New York. I’m sad to see her go.
I’m a bit let down, and it’s ok for me to sit with the feeling. I have lovely memories from the long holiday season and now it’s time to let go and recoup my energy.
One can have more than one feeling at a time and be comfortable with both of them without trying to take sides. Wherever you are, it’s ok, be with it and eventually, it will pass on, and another feeling will come in to replace it.
How do you handle the beginning, during and after the holidays? How many feelings do you have now with the closure of the holidays? Were you ok with how you celebrated New Year’s Eve or felt you were missing something or someone?
Women’s Group Topics
There are many different holidays throughout the year that create expectations around how it should be celebrated. How about discussing the best way each of you wants to celebrate the holidays and not what you ‘should’ do during the holidays.
“To fully enjoy the ‘richness’ of our lives, we need to stop long enough to visit with ourselves.”