How to Minimize Tolerations in Your Life

An,American,Road,Stop,Sign,Isolated,On,White,With,WordsWhat are tolerations?

Tolerations are anything you tolerate in your life—people, situations, yourself, your body, your environments, feelings, reactions, problems, pressures, expectations, restrictions, stress, inadequacies, and events. We all tolerate stuff, which means we tolerate it.

Here’s the thing about toleration: it’s not a decision. When you tolerate something, you’re just trying to get by. But when you decide, you’re taking control of the situation and finding peace.

There is also a difference between temporary relief and deciding to change whatever is causing stress in your life.

The list of tolerations is vast:

  • People tolerate a lot—far too much.
    • Were you taught not to complain,
    • that life is difficult,
    • not to rock the boat,
    • to go along with others, and
    • to be grateful for what you have.
    • This is not necessarily bad advice, though you must challenge what you tolerate.
  • Labeling an issue as toleration is better than a problem, issue, or something you must put up with. Why?   Because we tend to think of problems as part of us, what we must deal with in life.  Whereas, when we use the word tolerate, we change our perception and depersonalize it, recognizing it as something that can be changed.
  • Toleration is expensive. It takes energy—discomfort, loss of energy, feeling down, and effort to handle it emotionally—to tolerate it. This energy is wasted and no longer available to respond to personal or business opportunities. There could be a direct financial hit with tolerating.

Truths Around Minimizing Tolerations

  • Reducing tolerations energies you. Tolerations drain us as they are a source of friction/resistance.   When you reduce tolerance, you have more power available in your life.
  • Understand your reason for holding on to toleration. This will help you get to know yourself better and use that information to move forward.
  • Having tolerance keeps you from growing.
  • When you reduce your toleration, you raise your standards and improve the quality of your life. Until you stop tolerating, no significant changes can happen.
  • It takes faith to stop tolerating—start with small tolerances so you feel more comfortable making changes. For example, people you are tolerating may need more faith on your part, as the risk may feel greater.

Benefits of Minimizing Tolerations

  • You are happier and more relaxed with yourself.
  • It’s easier to live from your values.
  • Your creativity is expanded.
  • You will stop wasting your life.

Steps to Minimizing Tolerations

Anyone can learn to minimize toleration. The more you release into toleration, the lighter your life becomes.

Questions to Ask Yourself

  • Why do you have tolerations in your life? How do they work for you?
  • What would it mean to have no tolerance in your life, to be genuinely in a toleration-free zone?
  • List your tolerations in 3 key areas of your life. – Make a list of 5 things you are tolerating in 3 key areas – Your home, your Family/Community, Your Work
    • Your home – list five things you tolerate, whether you know a solution or each one. Pick the most annoying, significant, or minor, and keep to only five items. Some examples are where you live, the size of your home, whether you are organized or messy, decluttering, etc.
    • Your Family/community – only five items. Examples are stressful relationships, neighbors who are bothering you, issues with kids, or one-way friendships.
    • Work – 5 things only. For example, your manager, work is not exciting, not enough pay, and the job is unstable.

Action Time

Now that you have identified the 15 tolerations draining you, it’s time to create change.

  • Identify one item in each list that you can begin working on immediately. Select the smallest one or the one that is easiest to eliminate.
  • Identify the actions or requests necessary to eliminate each one.
  • Get to work on taking the actions or making the requests, and this is how you commit to eliminating these tolerations.
  • Keep repeating these steps until you have eliminated all the tolerations you want to eliminate.

Areas to Avoid in Minimizing Tolerations

  • Blaming or judging yourself for not having handled this earlier.
  • Go for relief rather than toleration-free. Consider eliminating the toleration at 110% so that it doesn’t return.
  • Trying to do it all at once or starting with the most challenging first.

Your Thoughts

Do you find yourself tolerating external and internal issues and not moving forward to change your stress levels?

Women’s Group Topics

This is a great topic to help women recognize when they are tolerating stuff because they have been schooled to be caretakers of others, not necessarily self-care. Eliminating toleration is all about self-care.

Be well,

“To fully enjoy the ‘richness’ of our lives, we need to stop long enough to visit with ourselves.”
(Pat Brill)

Other Topics You May Be Interested In
How Good of a Listener Are You?
Do You Take the Time to Listen to Yourself?
When Friends Hurt





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