When we feel alone, it can be challenging to take the time to relax and release the feelings troubling us. There are different situations in which people may feel alone. If you are experiencing one or more alone times, think of ways to incorporate time to relax before going into any of those situations.
Do you feel alone in some situations, or is this an overall feeling?
New At Your Job
If you are new at a job, you can feel isolated and need to build in some actions to connect with others.
- One of the ways to relax more is to reach out to others in your department, at the cafeteria if there is one, and see if you can find a buddy to help you learn where everything is in the company, as well as your responsibilities.
- If you are comfortable in your position, though you haven’t made any friends yet at work, one way is to reach out to see if you can help someone.
- You can bring some yummy food for your co-workers, saying how you like to bake or love sweets in your days.
- Until you have made connections to others in your new job, when you get home, think of ways to celebrate getting through a new job and decide what you will do that evening to relax and enjoy yourself.
If you are burned out at work, then you need to examine the cause of the burnout:
- Companies try to reduce positions by consolidating work, which can cause overwork for an individual. Are you in a position where you feel you can’t say, “I can’t do it all,” as it may indicate that you are not stepping up and doing your share?
- Do you feel that you don’t have control over your work and your manager is micro-managing you? This can be demotivating, and you think you can’t do anything right with your manager.
- One of the reasons employees feel burned out is because they don’t have a good relationship with their manager. If this is the case for you, can you step back and see what is causing it and whether you can make changes so your relationship isn’t as stressed?
- It’s an intense project; it will end soon, and you will weather through it.
No matter what the issue is regarding feeling burned out, it’s essential to incorporate some relaxation throughout your day. Find something you can do, however small, that you feel in control and release the tension in your mind and body.
In a Relationship
Being lonely or feeling isolated can be because you are alone, or you can feel this way in a relationship.
You can be in a long-term solid relationship and still feel alone sometimes. The question is whether you feel alone many times during the relationship.
- Check-in with your partner and see if they feel lonely. It is a perfect way to open a discussion around feeling connected. Become aware of what you are feeling before discussing it with your partner. Discuss it in an “I feel” format and not a “We are not connecting” structure, so the discussion has limited defensiveness.
- If your partner agrees, listen to their perception of the relationship before responding.
- Do you feel alone in many of your relationships? It could be that you are not comfortable being yourself in the relationship.
- Do you feel lonely when you are not together or feel better?
- Is there a void in your life that you seek for the relationship to fill? Sometimes, our loneliness could be because of an issue within ourselves. Maybe being vulnerable with another person is not a comfortable experience.
- Maybe you don’t feel comfortable being alone and need to be connected with someone most of the time.
Relationships can be wonderful ways to enjoy others, get support, feel happier, learn from others, and be yourself. However, not all relationships house these qualities regularly. Remember that no one person can support all of our needs; that’s why we have different types of friendships in our lives. If you are in a relationship that feels unsupportive or lacks interest in you, then step back and evaluate the value you receive from that person and any negative experiences in interacting with them.
Through it all, always carve out time to relax and release tension in your mind and body.
In a Group
Humans need to connect with others. Groups materialize as one way to combine several people at one time. However, not everyone feels connected in a group.
- For some people, being in a group can be overwhelming, and they feel alone since they perceive others to be more comfortable.
- It could feel overwhelming as so much energy is floating around, and it can be overstimulating.
- Knowing why you want to join a group can help you feel more connected. Are you looking for short-term companionship and want to hang out with others?
- Are you trying to meet new people? A great motivation, yet we don’t feel immediately connected to others in the group on the first entry. Instead, we need to be consistent with the group and start to get to know others.
- There could be an opportunity in a large setting, though feeling connected to others may be more challenging. You can look around and select a few people you would like to meet, introduce yourself, and start small talk. In a smaller group, it may be easier to meet others.
- Before going into the group, understand your thoughts about how you will feel there. If you think you will feel alone, you will likely create that experience. Try to reframe any anxiety about being in a group setting.
If you decide to try out new groups and feel stressed initially, find time to celebrate reaching out with some relaxing downtime.
How do you handle your alone feelings? Are they temporary or consistent, and you don’t feel good about yourself? Do you have the ability to relax and enjoy yourself when you are feeling alone? We make daily choices about how to handle challenging experiences in our lives. Why not add relaxation as part of your choice?
Women’s Group Topics
The group has a strong discussion as women often share how they feel alone, especially in relationships. A discussion can share how one feels when alone, though it also includes how one can find ways to relax to release strong feelings about being alone.
“To fully enjoy the ‘richness’ of our lives, we need to stop long enough to visit with ourselves.”
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