How were you raised – by a perfectionist? No matter how hard you try, your parents criticize you, and you never were able to meet their standards—one powerful way of absorbing parental teaching that we take with us as we go forth in life.
We all have stories that we can tell about the impact of our parents on us – judging us, family issues such as physical and mental illness, addictions, and abandonment. These experiences create a strong foundation for how we view ourselves.
As an adult, do you view yourself similarly to how the family viewed you? For perfectionists, there are so many situations in life to judge and continuously decide you are not good enough
Maybe you were fortunate enough to have someone close to you ask you, “what if you were to reframe “not good enough” to areas that you are “doing well?”
The question can stop you in your tracks and cause you to look at where you are succeeding — perfect entre into creating space for self-compassion. Seeing both sides of who you are and loving yourself, no matter what.
If you aren’t familiar with self-compassion, the idea is that you give yourself the same compassion and kindness you would extend to a good friend or a beloved family member. There are many benefits to leaning into self-compassion, including:
“Remember, you have been criticizing yourself for years, and it hasn’t worked.
Try approving of yourself and see what happens.“
Louise L. Hay
Benefit #1: Self Compassion Boosts Your Mood
The first benefit of self-compassion is that it can boost your mood. When you’re not constantly looking for how you’re failing yourself, your kids, or others around you, you’re free to look at what you’re doing right—seeing these tiny wins can be a massive boost to your mood.
Benefit #2: Increase Your Mindfulness with Self Compassion
When you’re self-compassionate, it causes you to become more mindful. Instead of zoning out and focusing on the destination, you’re free to enjoy the journey. That’s because you acknowledge that at this moment, you’re doing the best you can, and you accept that this is enough.
Benefit #3: Self Compassion Fosters Creativity
When you’re self-compassionate, you can be curious and explore new things. That’s because there’s freedom with compassion. Giving yourself grace means that you can take risks you wouldn’t usually take.
These risks might be trying a new type of dance class, experimenting with your art, or going on a new travel adventure. It doesn’t matter how they look. Thanks to self-compassion, it only matters that you’re now aware of your incredible creativity!
Benefit #4: Encourage Resilience with Self Compassion
Resilience is the ability to face a setback or obstacle and come out on the other side stronger and better for the experience. Those who regularly practice self-compassion often have an easier time developing resilience.
This increased resilience is that you’re kinder to yourself during the hard moments. Instead of despairing of ever losing weight after regaining five pounds or instead of berating yourself for yelling at your kids, you acknowledge your mess up and look for ways to do better in the future.
Benefit #5: Self Compassion Helps Release Negative Emotions
It’s easy to hold onto your mistakes and flaws when you lack compassion toward yourself. Maybe you even regularly review everything you feel like you’re doing wrong and why you’re not worthy of love.
Choosing self-compassion helps you to release negative emotions. It gives you the freedom to say, “I did the best I could at the moment with the information I had.”
Benefit #6: Improve Your Body Image with Self Compassion
Another benefit of self-compassion is that it can improve your body image. It’s crucial in a world that’s constantly flooded with images of models airbrushed to perfection.
With self-compassion, you can remind yourself that even models get cellulite, and no one has the perfect body. After all, if the models were flawless, they wouldn’t need to be airbrushed in the first place.
Benefit #7: Self Compassion Decreases Stress
Self-compassion decreases your stress. The more stressed you are, the more cortisol releases into your bloodstream. Over time, high levels of cortisol lead to serious health problems.
But you can defeat stress by choosing self-compassion. Forgive yourself for your past mistakes and current choices. It’s a new moment, and you can make fresh choices that reflect the person you want to become.
Benefit #8: Increase Your Motivation with Self Compassion
One of the best ways to increase your motivation is with self-compassion. Some people use fear to motivate themselves, and while this is temporarily effective, it can lead to long-term anxiety and stress (more cortisol!).
But self-compassion is a much more effective tool when it comes to motivation. It works just as well, but it also decreases your stress and allows you to focus on the things that truly matter.
Benefit #9: Self Compassion Fosters Personal Growth
If you want to grow as a person, there’s nothing more innovative than focusing on developing self-compassion. This trait encourages you to see yourself not just as you are at the current moment but also as the bright, beautiful woman you’re becoming!
Benefit #10: Improve Your Self Esteem with Self Compassion
Having self-esteem is not the same thing as self-compassion. Self-esteem is all about thinking positive thoughts about yourself and seeing your good qualities. Self-compassion is all about giving grace to you and cutting yourself some slack when you’re overwhelmed.
That said, self-compassion can improve your self-esteem. Self-compassion leads you to reevaluate how you see yourself and your truth.
Benefit #11: Self Compassion Gives You Grit
Grit is the ability to stick with a task or chore until completely done. Although it may seem unrelated to self-compassion, you need both to accomplish a difficult task. Think about a big goal you had once and how you used self-compassion to find the strength to get it done.
Benefit #12: Understand Why You’re Amazing with Self-Compassion
Perhaps one of the most significant benefits of self-compassion is that it helps you look at yourself differently. You can begin to catch glimpses of why you’re amazing, which can lead you to fall in love with your authentic self.
Your Thoughts – Do You Deserve Compassion, Too!
For many people, it’s easier to show compassion to others than to embrace it for yourself. But the truth is that you need understanding just as much if not more than the ones you love.
You are the only person who will be with you through every moment and phase of your life. You are worth celebrating and praising right now, just as you are. Don’t wait for someone else to deem you worthy of compassion. You already are!
Women’s Group Topic
Women can support each other in developing ways to celebrate what each of us brings to our lives, the lives of others, and the value we have to offer the world.
Be well,
Pat
“To fully enjoy the ‘richness’ of our lives, we need to stop long enough to visit with ourselves.”
(Pat Brill)
Other Topics You May Be Interested In
How You Speak About Yourself Has Power Over Your Life
How Do the Women in Your Life Support You?
Is it Important to Set Limits with Others?
Do you want to download a PDF copy of both of these books, then go to:
