We all have crossroads that we need to decide which direction to go. Sometimes we don’t recognize that we are at an intersection and make unaware decisions, but that issue will return, and we will have to face the road and choose which direction to go eventually. What was the last crossroad you met and did you feel good about your decision?
Crossroads don’t have to be major. Instead, it’s about choices we make to take care of ourselves. Maybe a road is something as simple as saying “no” to adding another To Do on your list. Being at a crossroad is about making choices. Choices are part of our everyday life.
I feel I’m at a major crossroad in my life. I’ve been there for a while and have been dithering with it and not standing firm with the best choice for me given where I am in my life. I’m still holding on to the illusion that there is plenty of time. There still may be plenty of time left in my life, yet I know that I’m in the last quarter of my life, if not sooner. What do I want the rest of my life to look like?
One doesn’t have to be in later years of one’s life to ask, am I traveling down the right road at this time in my life. We all know when we have made the right choices because our life feels good. On the other hand, if we feel disconnected because of decisions we made previously, then we need to step up to the plate of our lives and look at where we are and where we want to be.
We are continuously making choices, whether we flounder and drift towards one direction or we consciously make a choice to live a satisfied life. Possibilities are abundant which make it harder for us to choose. I believe given the knowledge we have in the moment of a decision; we know what direction feels the most loving and supportive for us.
Why does choosing seem like a tough decision? For me, it’s mainly about habit and loss. Even if the tough decision will ultimately make me feel good, there is always a loss involved for me. I’m not unique in that change creates ambivalence, loss, and uncertainty. If I was to make a decision based on what is best for me, there isn’t ambivalence. Instead, I’m deciding to take care of me in a different way, allowing myself to be free of stress. Stress takes away my health and health is my most precious asset.
I’ve been thinking of moving from the East Coast to the West Coast. I checked out Nevada and Phoenix, both of which have lower rents than New York. Then I thought about how I would feel being so far away from my son and daughter and decided that for me, my connection to them was more important to my well-being. Yes, the New York City area can be intense to live daily, though my friends and family are here and that softens my life considerably.
After making that decision, I now have reached the crossroad of making a financial decision to create financial security in my life. That means that I will need to downsize from my current apartment and find a smaller setting. This way I can save more money and live with less financial stress.
Besides the work in moving, I will give up my fantastic apartment, convenience to everything, great neighbors and venture into a new neighborhood. There is also relief in making the right decision for where I am in my life right now.
I’ve started fixing up my apartment, took care of the bathroom, replaced the kitchen floor and will have the kitchen repainted. The other challenge is cleaning out closets and letting go of unnecessary things. Even though I’m not a hoarder, I’m always amazed at what I manage to stuff into draws and closets.
My biggest issue is my books. I’ve decided to let go of 3 books each week and put them downstairs in the area where the mailboxes are for my neighbors to enjoy. I can’t throw them out and find it difficult to let go of books, but I can let go of 3 at a time…small change.
The lesson here is to trust that all will be ok. I’ve made moves before and have managed to create a home for myself no matter where I go. Since I’ve decided to stay in the NY area, I now need to decide to find a new home.
I will start on January 1st the process of finding a new home. I want to move no later than June 30th, which will give me enough time to plan, clean up the apartment, sell it, and find a new home. Wish me well on my journey.
Where are you in your life journey? January 1st is right around the corner, and this is always a good time to do reflection. Ask yourself are you where you want to be and do you have a clear vision of how you would like to create your crossroads. Make a list of all of the decisions you need to make – small and big. If you were to make a change, what would be the outcome?
By the way, January 1st can be any day you decide to reflect on your life and make decisions that support your well-being.
I don’t know about you, but whenever I make the right decision, the stress diminishes, and I can move forward in my life.
Women’s Group Topics
Small or significant changes create stress for most of us. How do you help each other move forward, make those tough decisions to create a better life? How do you break down a change so it’s manageable and be able to move forward one step at a time?
“To fully enjoy the ‘richness’ of our lives, we need to stop long enough to visit with ourselves.”