As I listen to others around me, I hear a common theme that the nature of life is to struggle. Do you believe that life is mainly filled with struggles? What about the thought that we create our struggles and life has little to do with our struggles?
What Is Struggle
The definition of Dictionary.com is to: contend with an adversary or opposing force; to contend resolutely with a task, problem, etc.; strive: to struggle for existence.
Areas Where We Struggle
There are several broad areas where most of us bump into struggle: relationships, weight, finances, and work.
For me, I have two biggies in the struggle category…finances and weight. I know how to do work because I tend to be a workaholic. On the relationship front, I do have great people in my life who provide love and support, and I’ve grown enough to enjoy their presence in my life.
I’ve been asking myself lately “who would I be without the struggle?” Since struggle and survival have been common themes in my life, I’ve been repeating the above question over and over in my mind. Realizing that I could be different if I let go of the need to struggle, provides me with more space to allow other possibilities to reside in my life.
What If We Cause Our Struggles?
Struggling can be insidious…we are so used to it we don’t know any other way, and it just seems to happen. Do you ever ask yourself, “Why do I keep struggling with this person, this job, my finances?”
Many different self-defeating beliefs seem to support our struggling:
A common belief is that when what we are doing takes effort and is hard then it’s struggling. Not necessarily. Hard work can be towards a specific goal, and we are giving all of our focus to completion. When we complete the goal, there is satisfaction. Whereas with struggle, we don’t necessarily achieve what we are doing, but rather deal with the situation as best as possible.
What Are You Saying To Yourself?
Pay attention to how you speak to yourself. When you look in the mirror, what do you say? When you pay the bills, what do you think? When you are dealing with another person, what judgments do you carry with you against them? Our thoughts create our realities. Do you own research and see that science is also supporting this belief.
When we change our thoughts, we change our realities….
What areas do you tend to struggle? Did you think immediately “all my life is a struggle?” Why not create a detail list of areas where you feel you are struggling. Is it a constant struggle or a temporary part of a project? Then ask yourself “Who would I be without the struggle?”
Women’s Group Topics
Share with others your experiences around struggling. Get feedback from the other people in your group on how to let go of a particular struggle you are having.
“To fully enjoy the ‘richness’ of our lives, we need to stop long enough to visit with ourselves.”
The Happiness Trap: How to Stop Struggling and Start Living by Russ Harris