I was trying to write a post on another topic while listening to a new CD I purchased by Zade.    An impossible task…I must write about what I’m experiencing right now.

I happened upon this wonderful artist by chance on a Public TV station that was showing: “One Night in Jordan…A Concert for Peace.”  Was it chance…I’m not a believer of chance, but rather I needed to hear this man’s music.

Zade’s piano playing, as well as his intention behind his music, creates tears in my eyes from the pure enjoyment of emotions filling me when listening to his music.

I’ve been thinking how we generally accept that there are areas of our lives that we are powerless to control.  We feel that we have no control over the crazy boss, bills, our partner’s habits, or what our children do.  We have no power to choose in some situations.  Yet is that true?

I’ve certainly had a boss from the pits, who was constantly unhappy with whatever I did, loved to let me know and was controlling.  It was no fun and to be honest I didn’t really handle it well.  I vacillated between trying to keep a safe distance and doing my best or giving up and not really trying as hard.    I definitely felt powerless with this person.   Yet was that true?

Do you think about the things or people in your life that you love or appreciate?  In my busy and hurried life, I realized that I could easily ignore all the wonderful and simple things and experiences I have in my life right now.  When I embrace the task of appreciating what I have in my life right now, a smile naturally comes to my face and offers me the simple flow of love.

In these economic times, I’m grateful that I have my own bookkeeping business and am making a living from my work. A year and half ago I had no idea how I was going to pay my bills, and in a short period I’ve built a strong business.  Yet I’ve been running myself ragged with this business in order to make the money.  No time to play, exercise, cook, talk to friends, or time to write.  I’m giving all my time to my business.

This may sound silly, but when was the last time you looked in the mirror at yourself and said, “I love you.”

What is mirror work?   It’s when you face yourself in the mirror, look into your eyes, and say affirmations to yourself.

Louise Hay, in “You Can Heal Your Life,” clearly describes this simple process.   She helps you gain back your personal power by looking in the mirror and saying “I Love You (put in your name).”   This simple affirmation can have profound affect on your well-being.   

I’m sitting on the bus writing, my words barely legible from the jerky motion as the bus travels over the New York City roads.  I have an hour-long trip each way into the City (at least) and I do use this time to do many things.  I catch up with emails on my blackberry, read and even talk on the phone (which is somewhat rude when the bus is quiet and people are relaxing).  

Yet, this is a prime time to write.    I’m constantly saying I want time to write…here it is. 

Today is Valentine’s Day and immediately I thought of people I love.   How can I let them know they are important and special in my life?   Then I thought, “what about me?”  How do I show myself that I love “me” and I’m special in my life?

What flashed in my mind immediately is that I’m tolerating too much in my life.   How do I know that I’m tolerating “stuff?” I can tell by listening to my internal thoughts of frustrations or the complaints that I express to others.  

When you hear the word “change” what’s your first reaction?    I have two different reactions to the word.  First, I can feel my resistance quickly bubble up just thinking about change.  Second, though definitely a fainter voice, is excitement.   

No matter how hard we try to create security in our lives, we never reach that goal because life is not static.  Opposites occur in every life situation and that’s why we are reluctant to change.   We want to control the situation and have it neat and tidy.

I’ve been thinking lately how I make decisions and then feel locked into them because I said ‘yes.’  Yet, my insides squirm thinking I have to do something I don’t want to do.  Am I really locked into that decision?  Can I rightfully change my mind…of course I can.  The question is whether I do.

I find my friends, as well as myself, collect beliefs around how we should be living our lives and what others should be doing.   The culprit at the foundation of these beliefs is ‘should.”   “Should” locks us into viewpoints that influence the decisions we make or don’t make.    I want to challenge the belief that we can’t change our minds once we make a decision.

Don’t we all just love to let others know how we’ve been mistreated.   Listen to the conversations around you, as well as your participation, and you will hear many victim stories.

I noticed something about myself last night.  I was out to dinner and a friend was sharing how she was the victim in a situation.  I react strongly, though not necessarily wisely, when a woman plays the victim.  I wasn’t any different last night.   Ultimately I felt I had intruded on this person’s right to feel the way she does because of my own internal thoughts.