Why Are We Resistant to Change?

When you hear the word “change” what’s your first reaction?    I have two different reactions to the word.  First, I can feel my resistance quickly bubble up just thinking about change.  Second, though definitely a fainter voice, is excitement.   

No matter how hard we try to create security in our lives, we never reach that goal because life is not static.  Opposites occur in every life situation and that’s why we are reluctant to change.   We want to control the situation and have it neat and tidy.

We have control — and have no control over change.  Life happens and we need to react and decide how we are going to best deal with the situation.   We can initiate change, for example decide to lose weight, stop smoking, take better care of ourselves, change jobs, etc.    Even when we decide to create a change in our lives, there is still anxiety and unsureness that surround the change.  What will happen when I make this change?

Change is always there, even if everything looks the same.  What changes is our reaction to the situation.    I like my routines, but my routines also dry me up, make life boring and call for a change.   Then I make a change and it’s new and exciting and I’m feeling proud of myself that I made a change.   Eventually that change becomes a part of my everyday living and then I’m back again to routine or habit.

The lesson I’ve learned is that change, whether small or large, is always a part of my life.  

The challenging part is embracing change and making it a friend and not a foe.  
How does one switch their perception and become excited about even a small change?

Change makes us feel alive.   In crisis situations, we toss our “normal” living up in the air to see where we land.    I realized when I was going through my separation from a long-term marriage that I had become a statistic.  Though it was traumatic, I also had an opportunity to see myself differently.   Today, when I’m reluctant to change my world, I remember how raw, excited and alive I was at that point in my life and how I saw different possibilities for myself.   That’s what change can provide for us.  Yes, the scary, unknown is there and so is the “world of possibilities” there for our choosing.

Even small changes can make us proud.   I will preface this with “not everyone feels this way,” but I believe that TV is a waste of time. Yet I watch it.   Whenever I mix things up and do something different at night and keep the TV off, I feel good about myself because I’m following what is important to me.

What About You?

How do you handle change in your life?   Do you embrace it or resist it whenever you can?   When you do decide to create a change in your life, how do you feel about yourself?

Small changes add so many opportunities to feel good about ourselves.

Pat

“To fully enjoy the ‘richness’ of our lives, we need to stop long enough to visit with ourselves.”
(Pat Brill)

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One Small Step Can Change Your Life: The Kaizen Way by Robert Maurer

Tags: habits, life lessons, routine

5 Responses to “Why Are We Resistant to Change?”

1. Iesha Says:
   February 8th, 2010 at 12:46 am

   This blog is really meaningful to me. I do not like change and I need to learn to embrace it. Thank you for this blog and from here on out all the little changes in my life I will not reject but embrace.

2. Ralph Says:
   February 8th, 2010 at 7:57 am

   Change can be a great thing when the change is going in the right direction. You’re right when you say that it is exciting to change in your life because of the possibilities that exist.

   Great post!

3. Richie Perl Says:
   February 9th, 2010 at 12:54 pm

   I feel much better about myself if a change is one which I initiate!

   When “change happens” that I didn’t expect, even a “positive” change, it usually takes me a period of time to “absorb” the change and make it part of some “new normal.”

4. eddy Says:
   February 13th, 2010 at 1:12 pm

   Most of us are creature of comfort. When we change we move out of our comfort zone. But we have to because only then we will grow

5. beth chapman Says:
   February 13th, 2010 at 11:56 pm

   Pat I really enjoyed your writing and the way it revealed part of yourself and engaged me, the reader. Great conversation. There is a part of me that is quite adventurous and relishes change yet I go to work the same way every day, never deviating the route. So much of my life I allow to fall into routine and heaven help us all if there is a detour. But at my core I embrace change and know it is the vitality of life. Change does not negate my compass or make me wishy-washy, it just keeps me true to my course with much better scenery. Great post, thank you.

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