Making the Tough Decisions

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  We all have crossroads that we need to decide which direction to go.   Sometimes we don’t recognize that we are at a crossroad and make unaware decisions, but that issue will return and we will have to eventually face the road and choose which direction to go.    What was the last crossroad you met and do you feel good about your decision?

Crossroads don’t have to be major.  Rather it’s about choices we make to take care of ourselves.   Maybe a crossroad is something as simple as saying “no” to adding another To Do on your list.   Being at a crossroad is about making choices.  Choices are part of our everyday life.

Obviously, I feel I’m at a major crossroad in my life.    I’ve been there for a while and have been dithering with it and not standing firm with the best choice for me given where I am in my life.   I’m still holding on to the illusion that there is plenty of time.   There still may be plenty of time left in my life, yet I know that I’m in the last quarter of my life, if not sooner.    What do I want the rest of my life to look like.   

One doesn’t have to be in later years of one’s life to ask, am I traveling down the right road at this time in my life.   We all know when we have made the right choices because our life feels good.  On the other hand, if we feel disconnected because of choices we made previously, then we need to step up to the plate of our lives and look at where we are and where we want to be. 

We are continuously making choices, whether we flounder and drift towards one direction or we consciously make a choice to live a certain life.   Possibilities are abundant which make it harder for us to choose.   I believe given the knowledge we have in the moment of a decision, we know what direction feels the most loving and supportive for us.

Why does choosing seem like a tough decision?   For me, it’s mainly about habit and loss.   Even if the tough decision will ultimately make me feel good, there is always a loss involved for me.  I’m not unique in that change creates ambivalence, loss and uncertainty.  Yet, if I was to make a decision based on what is best for me there isn’t ambivalence.  Rather, I’m deciding to take care of me in a different way, allowing myself to be free of stress.   Stress takes away my health and health is my most precious asset.

I’ve been thinking of moving from the East Coast to the West Coast.   I checked out Nevada and Phoenix, both of which have lower rents than New York.   Then I thought how I would feel being so far away from my son and daughter and decided that for me, my connection to them was more important to my well-being.   Yes, the New York City area can be intense to live on a daily basis, though my friends and family are here and that softens my life considerably.

After making that decision, I now have reached the crossroad of making a financial decision to create financial security in my life.   That means that I will need to downsize from my current apartment and find a smaller setting.   This way I can save more money and live with less financial stress.   

Besides the work in moving, I will give up my wonderful apartment, convenience to everything, great neighbors and venture into a new neighborhood. Yet, there is also relief in making the right decision for where I am in my life right now.

I’ve started fixing up my apartment, took care of the bathroom, replaced the kitchen floor and will have the kitchen repainted.   The other challenge is cleaning out closets and letting go of unnecessary things.  Even though I’m not a hoarder, I’m always amazed at what I manage to stuff into draws and closets. 

My biggest issue is books.  I’ve decided to let go of 3 books each week and put them downstairs in the area where the mailboxes are for my neighbors to enjoy.   I can’t throw them out and find it difficult to let go of books, but I can let go of 3 at a time…small change.  

The lesson here is to trust that all will be ok.   I’ve made moves before and have managed to create a home for myself no matter where I go.   Since I’ve made the decision to stay in the NY area, I now need to make the decision to find a new home. 

I will start January 1st the process of finding a new home.   I want to move no later than June 30th, which will give me enough time to plan, clean up the apartment, sell it, and find a new home.  Wish me well on my journey.

Where are you in your life journey?   January 1st is right around the corner and this is always a good time to do reflection.    Ask yourself are you where you want to be and do you have a clear vision of how you would like to create your crossroads.    Make a list of all of the decisions you need to make – small and big.  If you were to make a change, what would be the outcome?

I don’t know about you, but whenever I make a right decision, the stress diminishes and I can move forward in my life.

Pat
“To fully enjoy the ‘richness’ of our lives, we need to stop long enough to visit with ourselves.”
(Pat Brill)

All About Decision-Making

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Tags: options, strength of will

2 Responses to “Making the Tough Decisions”

1. Goddy Says:
   November 25th, 2009 at 2:13 am

   Hi Pat!

   It seems that, after reading this blog entry, I made the right decision to move to a smaller, simpler room for myself. It’s a lot easier and cheaper to maintain. Thanks for sharing your ideas.

   Goddy

2. Pat Says:
   December 6th, 2009 at 3:49 pm

   Goddy
   Thanks for sharing. Less can be best even if it doesn’t feel that way right away.

   Pat

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