The Power of Forgiveness

October 10th, 2008 in Personal Growth, Physical

When was the last time you forgave someone? It’s not a common word in our vocabulary. I wonder why! I ask myself, how often have I forgiven another or myself and let go of the negative thoughts. As I grow older, I see the value of forgiveness. In my emotional suitcase are many past hurts, misunderstandings, and archaic beliefs that are just weighing me down.

I have to put myself on an emotional diet and weigh in with forgiveness as my tool.

There are two different types of forgiveness: forgiving others and forgiving ourselves. Both are important in order to develop and increase compassion and love within us.

As I write about forgiveness, up come two distinct feelings. First, I can’t forgive someone’s behavior because my thoughts say he/she will continue it. Second, I feel my body respond favorably to the word ‘forgive’…letting go and releasing the tension that I hold within me. If I can quickly create two different reactions, I’m assuming that I have a choice on what I want to feel. I believe that we are the creators of our thoughts, which influence our feelings and actions.

Forgiveness doesn’t change what the person has done, but rather changes our reaction to the situation. Forgiveness isn’t about turning the other cheek. We can forgive another without forgiving the act. The same holds for our behavior. We can forgive ourselves when we have made a mistake and still own up to our actions.

Forgiveness is a self-love tool. We allow ourselves to release the toxicity within us that hinders our ability to live a healthy and meaningful life. This is powerful stuff.

I just heard yesterday…not even sure where…but it made sense to me. When you have a problem, find a solution and let go of complaining. Forgiveness creates the space for you to find the right solution. Holding on to bitterness, anger, sadness only affects your wellbeing and adds negative stress to your life. Negative emotions indicate that we need to do something to create change. Our inner guidance is telling us that we need to understand our feelings and take action to heal and support our wellbeing.

I was watching Oprah the other day and she had on a man who lost his wife and son because of a shooting. He was shot and as he rested in the hospital bed, he made a decision to forgive this person. At that time, he didn’t know who did the shooting. He later found out that his older son had put out a contract killing on the family. This is definitely an extreme example of forgiveness, but if this man could forgive (because of his deep faith), then how much can each of us forgive on the smaller issues.

Is there someone in your life that you need to forgive? Do you need to forgive yourself?

If you want to release the tension and forgive others or yourself, and find that it is difficult, then find support. The most obvious support is traditional talking therapy. I’ve found Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) to be a great tool to releasing the tension within me and finding space in my heart to forgive others and myself. You can do this technique anytime and it doesn’t cost you anything. Check out www.emofree.com and download their free 87 page ‘how to’ to learn the technique of EFT.

Research is proving the power of forgiveness on our health and wellbeing. I found this site: www.forgiving.org. Forgiveness provides clarity and balances the physical, emotional and spiritual parts of our lives. Our inner balance influences others around us.

Do your own research, find out just how powerful ‘forgiveness’ is for you, others, your community and for the world. Start forgiving today.

Pat
“To fully enjoy the ‘richness’ of our lives, we need to stop long enough to visit with ourselves.”
(By Pat Brill)

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9 Responses to “The Power of Forgiveness”

  1. Liane Schmidt Says:
    October 10th, 2008 at 11:52 pm

    Beautiful post! Forgiveness of others and yourself is a key component to your happiness.

    Blessings!

    Sincerely,

    -Liane Schmidt.

  2. Pat Says:
    October 12th, 2008 at 10:41 am

    Liane
    Thanks for visiting and affirming the value of forgiveness in our happiness.
    Pat

  3. Hoffman Process Says:
    October 12th, 2008 at 10:28 pm

    Many people find that when they truly forgive someone a great weight is lifted from their minds, you might think of it as a way to free yourself from all the negativity.

  4. Pat Says:
    October 15th, 2008 at 11:58 am

    I checked out Hoffman Process - a personal development retreat in Australia. You definitely understand when I write about forgiveness because it is the core of all of our personal growth.

    Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
    Pat

  5. Batull Says:
    October 17th, 2008 at 1:42 am

    Thanks for the EFT tip Pat…have started reading up…it is a tool I’ve explored before while attending self-awareness programmes, and it’s very powerful in healing if you have the faith in yourself. Though EFT’s approach is more general and tapping many more issues within us!

    I find Forgiving urself is a lot more difficult than others….I’m stuck with guilt about some issues, which I’m aware have past and some were even beyond my control…but I’m hard on myself!

  6. Tony L. Jefferson, Jr. Says:
    October 22nd, 2008 at 5:48 am

    I have found many times that the simple yet complex act of forgiveness puts things into perspective for me. The process of forgiving lets me go back to the problem and really look at what the root of the problem was. In turn it helps me to learn from the experience and have a better understanding. That makes it easier for me to forgive. Great post!

  7. Pat Says:
    October 22nd, 2008 at 5:23 pm

    Batull
    I have a women’s group and we had a discussion around forgiveness, compassion and self-love. Most people find it easier to have compassion for others, but hold ourselves to a ‘perfection’ altitude…one that no one can reach, nor do we really need to try.

    I found the combination of EFT and Louise Hay (positive affirmations) have lifted some of my guilt and other negative thoughts. We do have the power over our thoughts…that is the only true power we have in life.

    I wish you a big bag of compassion that you can take out any time you want to ease and release those negative self-thoughts.
    Pat

  8. Kevin Touhey Says:
    November 9th, 2008 at 7:08 pm

    Great post, it is not possible to understate the importance of forgiveness. Holding on to resentment is like taking poison and hoping the other person will die. True forgiveness begins and ends with self-forgiveness. It is your responsibility to move out of past hurts and into the true bliss of the present; without the excess baggage of condemnation.

  9. Pat Says:
    November 11th, 2008 at 12:47 am

    Kevin
    Thanks for your thoughts…wise words. You are right that true forgiveness starts with one’s self.
    Pat


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